Sometimes, knowing that a few people read these lines makes it much harder to write. I feel like I’m being exposed or being “passive aggressive” about things. Yet, the satisfaction of letting your thoughts fly in the cyber space overrules these fears. The facade of having enough courage to openly talk is too enjoyable to let go of.
Of being a child, I have a lot left in me. I love freely. I can live in my imagination if I'm not bothered. I forgive and forget. I, in fact, reset. A dear friend once said children build and then destroy so easily just to build again; they become all excited and they believe you when you give them a lollypop .At the time, somehow, I was a bit hurt by this last statement, thinking it referred to me being fooled easily. But I have come to realize that that's true. Children don’t really comprehend “no” as an answer, yet they easily move on. They refresh and get up with new energy. A kid hates her brother for bothering her, and the next morning, he is the dearest thing in the world to her. Kids have the, somewhat unreal, understanding and expectation of unconditionally. Kids offer their heart in its entirety with almost no expectation (mainly because they imagine other people’s hearts and minds function just like theirs).
Like Pam's Labyrinth, I live on imagining. I have a parallel world in my head with all the things I like in it. When things get difficult, my child within imagines them away. At times, though, I have to stop and wonder if I'm going crazy or if I'm driving people around me crazy. At times like this I wonder what This guy thought when he said:
Man anaari mikonam daaneh be del migooyam
khoob bood in mardom, daaneh haye deleshan peydaa bood
All this said, the child within doesn’t feel like taking anything too seriously. It’s lovelier that way. Much Lovelier!
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