Ideas

I have too many ideas in my head and not enough coherence at the moment..so let me shoot:

1. I all of a sudden had a Eureka moment with this part of this Namjoo song. It's an OK song, geographical determination, not one of the magical ones. It said:
...
That they want nothing to do with you
That they don't let you in their game
That they keep fooling you around
That you have been born in Asia, is called geographical determination
...
I related to this. As a girl from my small town,I really did.

2.I'm thinking about the concept of eastern love vs. Western love. Abbas Milani touched on this concept in his memoirs. To paraphrase, he claimed, Westerners fall in love; we "become" in love. An astute observation, I thought.
I will elaborate on this later; just to not forget, the impracticality and psychological absurdity of this type of loving in this day and age is very interesting to me. Mainly, take this line by Hafiz:

laaf e eshgh o geleh az yaar? Zehi laaf e khalaaf
Eshghbaazaan e chonin, mostahagh e hejraanand!
(Roughly it says: you claim to be in love and complain about your beloved?! Nonsense! Lovers like you deserve to suffer through separation from their beloved).

How would modern psychology deal with this madness? really, isn't it down right abusive?

3. Sometimes, I have subtle feelings that for a strange reason I have associated with masculinity. It, somehow, makes me feel very strong and self confident to have and realize these feelings. An example would be becoming aware of a sexual (and only sexual) attraction in the middle of a mundane conversation. When you are talking to someone and thinking things to yourself that only you know.Things completely irrelevant to the conversation, of course;
Like you think to yourself, I want to just stop him in the middle of his sentence with a kiss on his lips. (or your imagination could take you even further).
I have always been told that " men think very bad thoughts in their heads about women"; "bad" meant sexual! I never really thought it was bad.
But, to have them mself, makes me feel empowered; It makes me feel real, in a strange way.
that is just one small example of the kind of feeling I'm talking about; what was interesting to me was the realization of an association with masculinity I had given these feelings.

All of a sudden, everything made some more sense!